Happy Odd Fellows

Happy Odd Fellows

Dear Dedicated Members for Change,

Past Grand Master Dave Reed recently saw this article about Finland and passed it along to me. Many polls find that Finland is the happiest country on earth. The article provides sound advice for everyone, including members of fraternal Lodges, like the Odd Fellows. Lodges can be and should be happy places, as well. Let’s take some worthwhile tips from the Finns.

Here is the article:

Story by Frank Martela,

I’m a psychology expert in Finland, the No. 1 happiest country in the world—here are 3 things we never do

For five years in a row, Finland has ranked No. 1 as the happiest country in the world, according to the World Happiness Report. In 2022’s report, people in 156 countries were asked to “value their lives today on a 0 to 10 scale, with the worst possible life as a 0.” It also looks at factors that contribute to social support, life expectancy, generosity and absence of corruption. As a Finnish philosopher and psychology researcher who studies the fundamentals of happiness, I’m often asked: What exactly makes people in Finland so exceptionally satisfied with their lives?

To maintain a high quality of life, here are three things we never do:

1. We don’t compare ourselves to our neighbors.

There’s a famous line by a Finnish poet: “Kell’ onni on, se onnen kätkeköön.” Roughly translated, it means: Don’t compare or brag about your happiness. Finns really take this to heart, especially when it comes to material things and overt displays of wealth. I once ran into one of the wealthiest men in Finland. He was pushing his toddler in a stroller towards the tram station. He could have bought himself an expensive car or hire a driver, but he opted for public transportation. That’s what success looks like in Finland: just like everyone else.

Happiness tip: Focus more on what makes you happy and less on looking successful. The first step to true happiness is to set your own standards, instead of comparing yourself to others.

2. We don’t overlook the benefits of nature.

According to a 2021 survey, 87% of Finns feel that nature is important to them because it provides them with peace of mind, energy and relaxation. In Finland, employees are entitled to four weeks of summer holiday. Many of us use that time to hit the countryside and immerse ourselves in nature. The fewer amenities, even to the point of no electricity or running water in the house, the better. A lot of Finnish cities are also densely built, which means that many people have access to nature at their doorsteps. I live next to Helsinki Central Park, where I go on regular walks.

Happiness tip: Spending time in nature increases our vitality, well-being and a gives us a sense of personal growth. Find ways to add some greenery to your life, even if it’s just buying a few plants for your home.

3. We don’t break the community circle of trust.

Research shows that the higher the levels of trust within a country, the happier its citizens are. A “lost wallet” experiment in 2022 tested the honesty of citizens by dropping 192 wallets in 16 cities around the world. In Helsinki, 11 out of 12 wallets were returned to the owner. Finnish people tend to trust each other and value honesty. If you forget your laptop in a library or lost your phone on the train, you can be quite confident you’ll get it back. Kids also often take a public bus home from school and play outside without supervision.

Happiness tip: Think about how you can show up for your community. How can you create more trust? How can you support policies that build upon that trust? Small acts like opening doors for strangers or giving up a seat on the train makes a difference, too.

F – L – T

Dave Rosenberg
Past Grand Master
Jurisdiction of California

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Failure to Communicate

Failure to Communicate

“What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.” Strother Martin from the film “Cool Hand Luke.

There was a time in America when our spoken and written words were precise. Sadly, that time is fading. Once upon a time we would say things such as, “His standup comedy grabbed us by the shoulders and shook the funny out of us.” Today, we simply say “LOL.” And, in the past, when events transpired to surprise us, we might have said, “I was in a temporary state of shock and confusion.” Regrettably, nowadays, we are likely to just remark “OMG.”

Do we really mean what we say anymore? Used to be we would greet each other with a simple “hello” or a more time-specific “good morning” or “good evening.” Now, folks are likely to greet one another with the banal, “How are you?” That may be the question that is asked, but does the querier really wish to be fully informed of the state of health of the person asked? Sometimes, when I am asked “How are you?” I’m tempted to transform into my puckish mode and say, “My cat just died, a flying rock broke my car’s windshield this morning, and my Plantar Fasciitis is acting up.” But I refrain because more likely than not, “How are you?” is not really meant as a inquiry about my health and circumstance, but more as a greeting similar to “hello”.

And how often have you visited your favorite coffee shop and engaged in a brief conversation with the barista, who responds to everything you say with the current generational standard, “No worries.” To be frank, I’m not really worried if the barista puts half-and-half or whole milk in my latte, but apparently, in that moment, reducing my level of worry is of primal concern to the barista.

These simple societal pleasantries point out the nuances that are contained within our use of language. We really don’t “worry” too much about it because it’s just part of the social buzz. However, we would miss it if it weren’t there. It would be like walking into a shoe store or department store without the background music.

But in the Lodge room, the precise use of language is, and should be, treated differently. Are we, as Odd Fellows, always aware of the impact of our words? Words do matter. Our Lodge Brothers and Sisters, and applicants seeking to join the Lodge are impacted by what we say. Do we always mean what we say, and say what we mean? A flip, off-the-cuff attempt at gentle humor may be perceived by the listener as criticism, or as an insult, or even worse as an indication of implicit bias. The consequence of the language and words we use may be viewed quite the opposite of what we intended.

And that “failure to communicate” may cause hard feelings or unnecessary turmoil in a place where the cares of the outside world should be left behind.

F – L – T

Dave Rosenberg
Past Grand Master
Jurisdiction of California
Independent Order of Odd Fellows

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Three Important Words for the Odd Fellows

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The Best Qualities of Odd Fellows

The Best Qualities of Odd Fellows

Dear Dedicated Members for Change,

Every organization, including Odd Fellows Lodges, have members who are very involved and dedicate a substantial amount of their time and energy to the organization (we’ll call this Tier One). There are also members who are active and give their time freely to the organization (Tier Two). Further, there are members who are involved only occasionally (Tier Three). Finally, we find members who pay their dues but we rarely (if ever) see or hear from them after they joined (Tier Four). Within this framework, we should strive to move members up to a higher tier. Can you imagine how dynamic an Odd Fellows Lodge would be if all members were in Tier One and Tier Two. And just imagine how boring and stultifying it would be if you were in a Lodge where all the members were in Tier Three and Tier Four.

So, what are the best qualities we would like to see in Odd Fellows. Here is my list of the positive qualities of a true Odd Fellow:

  1. First and foremost, a true Odd Fellow would exemplify the qualities of Friendship, Love, and Truth. And I’m not talking about just words – I’m talking about actions. This is a member who strives to be truly friendly and a friend to all. This is a member who practices fraternal love toward the brothers and sisters in the order, helping them when he/she can, and forgiving their little idiosyncrasies and mistakes. This is a member with whom all other members want to spend time – a friend to all – pleasant and with a positive spirit. This is also a member who is honest and truthful with others, but not to the point of being critical, condescending, or negative.
  2. Second, and vitally important, a true Odd Fellow is one who supports his/her Lodge. The Lodge, after all, is only as strong as the members who belong to it. This is a member who serves in responsible positions in the Lodge – such as elected or appointed office or committee chairmanship. This is a member who pitches in to help with and to complete projects to benefit the Lodge or community. This is a member who sets up for meetings and events, cleans up and puts chairs and tables away, and readily volunteers to help, in good spirit. This is also a member who looks not only to the present, but to the future of the Lodge by sponsoring applicants for membership – without new blood, the Lodge will, in time, diminish and fade away.
  3. A true Odd Fellow understands that being an Odd Fellow requires a lifetime of learning about the history of the Order, the Codes and rules of the Order (both written and unwritten), and the ritual. There is so much to know and so much to learn about Odd Fellowship. If this is a long-time member, he or she will freely educate, without being pedantic. This is also a member who strives to move up in the Order by joining an Encampment or a Canton, or a Rebekah Lodge – who strives to be a Noble Grand so that he/she can attend Grand Lodge Sessions, and even be active at that level. On the other hand, this is not a member who uses a little bit of knowledge to intimidate or bludgeon other members (e.g. “You didn’t say that correctly” or “You are not standing in the right place”.)
  4. An Odd Fellow should focus on improving life in the Lodge, but should not lose focus on the greater community outside the Lodge Hall. The Lodge is stronger and more sustainable when the Lodge members involve themselves in that community, and provide community support to others.
  5. Finally, in my book, a little humility goes a long way. You may have noticed that the most beloved members of your Lodge are often the most humble and soft-spoken. They participate and contribute, but they don’t toot their own horns. People like to be with them. The world is full of talkers, with too few listeners. Emulating the quietly competent and non-assertive members of the Lodge will never steer you wrong.

F – L – T

Dave Rosenberg
Past Grand Master
Jurisdiction of California

Three Important Words for the Odd Fellows

Three Important Words for the Odd Fellows

The Independent Order of Odd Fellows' primary words are Friendship, Love, and Truth. Add to those the goal of 'Elevating Human Character,' and you've got a recipe that no one will argue with. But how do we engage more people in our Order? I think three more words are...

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Have We Forgot Who We Are?

Rick Boyles, a Past Grand Master of California, often contributes incisive articles to this DMC Newsletter. His musings and aspirations on the character of Odd Fellowship are relevant and inspiring. In this latest article from Brother Rick we are reminded that if we,...

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Membership: It’s a Global Problem

Dear Dedicated Members for Change, Brothers and Sisters from around the world write to me about our DMC Newsletters and the issues raised in our discussions. These issues are real and do not go away by being ignored. They can only be solved if they are brought to the...

Achieving Growth in the Independent Order of Odd Fellows

Achieving Growth in the Independent Order of Odd Fellows

The vast majority of Odd Fellows Lodges are (and have been) declining in membership. My own Lodge – Davis #169 – for the past two decades has increased its membership every single year. Since I joined in 2004, the Davis Lodge has grown from less than 30 members to 350 today. Growth in membership. Every. Single. Year.

How did we achieve growth in the Odd Fellows?

I’m not here to toot the horn of the Davis Odd Fellows Lodge nor am I tooting my own horn. But I think it is important to explain how we did it – because it may provide some useful information to other Lodges which desire to stop the net losses and start the process of net gains of members. So, for the benefit of our fraternal health, here are the top 9 things we did in Davis resulting in dramatic and sustained growth of our membership:

  1. Culture Change. I joined the Odd Fellows in 2004 and suddenly found myself as Noble Grand in 2005. I was re-elected several times and served as Noble Grand for four years. Frankly, serving as Noble Grand that long is NOT generally recommended. But I had to do it in order to change the culture of the Lodge. I did that by focusing on what I have called “The Three-Legged Stool”. The three legs are: community outreach and involvement, social interaction within the Lodge, and the great historical traditions and ritual of the Order. Unless all three legs of the stool are present and sturdy, the stool will be wobbly and will inevitably collapse. My Lodge, like most, was woefully deficient in community involvement and social interaction. I resolved to change that culture. So, step one is to have the leadership and direction to change the trajectory of the Lodge. I dedicated two meetings to a discussion of this culture-change, and got buy-in by the members.
  2. The Committee Structure. We encouraged members’ ideas. We didn’t say “no” when an Odd Fellow suggested things we could do. We said “yes”. So member’s ideas were implemented by the creation of committees. When we started this process, the Lodge had 4 or 5 committees (like most every other Lodge). Today our Lodge has 69 committees. They can be divided into three general categories. (1) Administrative committees. These include the Visiting Committee, Finance Committee, Bylaws Committee, Historical Committee, Membership Committee, and the like. They are involved in the general operation of the Lodge. (2) Social committees. These committee organize fun social events for the Lodge members, potential members, and family. These include the OddtoberFest Committee, the St Patrick’s Day Party Committee, Halloween Party Committee, Hiking Committee, Wine Tasting Committee, Needlework Committee, Cigar Lounge Committee, and others. (3) Community Outreach Committees. These committees engage the community (and, frankly, are important aspects of our membership development). These committees include the Odd Fellows Bingo Committee, Breakfast with Santa Committee, the Taste of Davis Committee, the Davis Chocolate Festival, the Zombie Bike Ride Committee, Breakfast with the Bunny Committee, Classic Film Festival Committee, and many more. Several committees cross the lines and are both community outreach committees and social events for members – including the Music Committee, the New Year’s Eve Party Committee, and others. Committees create a vibrant, active Lodge enjoyable for member and with high visibility in the community.
  3. Outreach to Women. Half the population of the world is female. However, prior to 2000, membership in an Odd Fellows Lodge was not available to women. That changed in 2000 when women were permitted to join Odd Fellows Lodges. In Davis, we took that to heart, and we made a decided effort to encourage men and women to join. When a man submitted an application, we inquired whether his wife or girlfriend or significant other were interested in joining as well. This created a substantial increase in applications. Today, the Davis Lodge is almost 50-50 men and women. And women have held and continue to hold leadership positions in the Lodge. Some have suggested that bringing more women into the Davis Odd Fellows Lodge would be a detriment to the Davis Rebekah Lodge. In fact, the exact opposite occurred. In 2004 the Davis Rebekah Lodge was on its last legs with less than 10 members, all in their 70’s and 80’s. Today, the Davis Rebekah Lodge is alive, healthy and active with about 40 members, including many men. We found that as the Odd Fellows grew, so did the Rebekahs. (Parenthetically, our Davis Encampment and Canton Davis grew as well.)
  4. Social Meetings. Full formal meetings pursuant to the Odd Fellows ritual and the Codes are required and important, to preserve us as a fraternal order and a Lodge of Odd Fellows. At the same time, it is permissible to have social meetings – and we do. We started holding Second Saturday Morning Breakfast meetings at the Lodge and have been holding these social meetings every month. Breakfast is served to the attendees without charge, and after breakfast a social meeting is held where the officers and committees report – social events are discussed, we recognize birthdays and anniversaries, members who are sick or distressed, and the like. Members enjoy these social gatherings, and they provide an important adjunct to our membership efforts – Lodge members bring prospective members to these social meetings – a great way to introduce folks to the Lodge.
  5. The Membership Committee. We created a Membership Committee with a strong Membership Chair. We wanted to keep a constant focus on membership development. At every meeting of the Lodge, the Membership Committee provides a report. The effort to recruit applicants, keep them motivated and interested, and assimilate them into the fraternity is focused and constant. A component of most of our Lodge activities is an effort to reach out to potential applicants. For example, when we host our yearly Breakfast with Santa, the primary focus is to provide an enjoyable memory for children, but a component of BWS is to high community visibility. A number of our applicants have come from the ranks of parents and grandparents of the children who attended BWS.
  6. The Pledge Process. The Davis Lodge does not make it easy to join. Unlike other Lodge which rapidly move applicants to initiation, we take our time. We have created what we call a “Pledge Process” which can take anywhere from six months to one year from application to initiation. And in between, the applicants (we call them “Pledges”) have to read a Pledge Book we developed which gives them data about our Order and the Lodge, take and pass a 25-question test, interview a number of Lodge members (a great way to break the ice and enable members to meet and get to know potential new members), and other requirements. We find that the new members are much more committed to the Lodge, and certainly are more knowledgeable about Odd Fellowship by the time they receive their initiatory degree.
  7. Club Night at the Lodge. A few years ago we developed “Club Night at the Lodge” – an informal drop-in activity that we host every Thursday evening from 5:30 p.m. till 8:00 p.m. at the Lodge Hall. Odd Fellow members, pledges, and their guests are welcomed to attend. The bar is open, we serve a full dinner meal, we have a piano player, and we play trivia by table (with prizes for the winning tables in each round) with members interacting at each table to discuss and come up with an answer. It’s a fun activity that members and pledges look forward to attending. And it has become an integral component of the Pledge Process – a great place for pledges to conduct their member interviews.
  8. Communication. We emphasize both internal and external communication. Internally, we have the emails of all our 350 members and we regularly send out notices of meeting and events. We have developed a weekly electronic newsletter, complete with photos, which we send out to all our members and pledges to keep each other posted. We have a monthly “Odd Bulletin Board” where members can help each other with things they need. We have lots of shirts, sweatshirts and pins which display our Odd Fellow logos which we proudly wear in the community. We have lots of signage on our Lodge Hall, including a wonderful antique neon “IOOF” sign which we found on Etsy (from a defunct Lodge back East) which we had shipped to Davis and installed on our Hall so that the community readily can identify that this building is a Lodge of Odd Fellows.
  9. Thinking Outside the Box. We constantly try new things. We are not stagnant. We developed a 501 (c) (3) corporation so that folks could make charitable contributions to our community events. When a young female police officer was gunned down and murdered on the streets of Davis a few years ago, we set up a special scholarship fund in her name and have funded scholarship for local high school students to attend college to be future law enforcement or public safety employees (it is now a perpetual fund where we can provide scholarships from the interest earned, and do not need to tap into principle). We constantly emphasize our “Oddness” in our events such as the “OddtoberFest” and starting our meetings at 7:01 p.m. rather than 7:00 p.m., and even this list which is 9 things, rather than 10.

 

F – L – T

 

Dave Rosenberg

Past Grand Master

Jurisdiction of California

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Three Important Words for the Odd Fellows

The Independent Order of Odd Fellows' primary words are Friendship, Love, and Truth. Add to those the goal of 'Elevating Human Character,' and you've got a recipe that no one will argue with. But how do we engage more people in our Order? I think three more words are...

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Revisiting Something Worthwhile – Odd Fellows Membership

Revisiting Something Worthwhile – Odd Fellows Membership

About twenty-five years ago, I wrote an article which offered a method to attract new members. It was a method which worked for the Odd Fellows lodge I belonged to at the time – proven method. At that time it seemed most lodges had resigned themselves to simply accepting the status quo and fading away. As I had mentors and some pretty respectful members giving me encouragement with these goals of bringing new members into the Order, I was motivated.

One of those encouraging me to share the successes was Brother Donald R. Smith. He had been a “Past Sovereign Grand Master” who was impressive in his own fraternal resume, having been an editor and publisher of Odd Fellows publications since the 1950’s, having been the youngest Grand Master at 26 years of age, and the fact he had been part of a fraternal mission to Vietnam during the war representing the Independent Order of Odd Fellows (I.O.O.F.) as the Sovereign Grand Master. He brought a message of peace.

I wrote an article called The Growth Process which detailed the ideas of how to attract new applicants to the Odd Fellows. It laid out ideas that the lodge could do internally and externally to meet this goal of new applicants. Granted, this method worked for me and a few others in the lodge, and there were no guarantees it would work for other lodges. We were in a metropolitan area, a more densely populated area, which gave us an advantage. My ideas came from the small successes of other lodges, not necessarily to attract members, but what would be enjoyable for lodge members.

I saw the importance of having refreshments available for the working members. This way they could come straight to lodge after work and relax. Having a social hour prior to the meeting is as beneficial as anything else in terms of personal interaction and membership bonding. We learn about each other and about different ideas for a successful lodge.

Putting the written lodge communications and other community information on a table for all to read and review during the social hour gets the members engaged. They know what is happening before the meeting begins. It is all about involvement.

Odd Fellow Lodges need events to keep their members engaged and happy. Members need events to be able to tell potential members about. The more variety of events creates interest.

When speaking to a potential member, ask their interest or hobby. Tell them the lodge would be willing to try such an event (within reason). This shows that you are interested in their ideas. This is probably the most important thing to do when seeking members.

Lodges can join local historical societies, chambers of commerce, business associations, etc. They can share their activities with these groups and have access to free advertisement. The name “Odd Fellows” should show up in other organization’s newsletters and publications. Give promotional pins to other groups. Engage.

Within the lodge gather historical items of importance. Many lodges have artifacts of their early community or items like “jewels”, unique objects, and interesting ephemera which can be of great interest to historical enthusiasts, and other groups. Share these with everyone. Put them in display cases.

Odd Fellow Lodge outings are fun. Choose a meeting date and have a field trip to a local museum, theater, park, etc. Get out and have fun. Wear your Odd Fellows hat or shirt. Let people see you.

All of the aforementioned should be done. Again, each lodge is different. Be a lodge that gets recognized for the good it does. In hopes of assisting your lodge, I hope this article has given you ideas.

Peter V. Sellars
Grand Representative
Independent Order of Odd Fellows
Jurisdiction of California

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Three Important Words for the Odd Fellows

The Independent Order of Odd Fellows' primary words are Friendship, Love, and Truth. Add to those the goal of 'Elevating Human Character,' and you've got a recipe that no one will argue with. But how do we engage more people in our Order? I think three more words are...

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Have We Forgot Who We Are?

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Membership: It’s a Global Problem

Membership: It’s a Global Problem

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No Lodge is an Island

No Lodge is an Island

Dear Dedicated Members for Change,

Every Odd Fellows Lodge in every jurisdiction of our Order has the right to send representatives to Grand Lodge Sessions, which are typically held once each year.

In point of fact, however, a majority of Odd Fellow Lodges don’t send any representatives to Grand Lodge Sessions. That is a remarkable fact. And it’s also a shame. If a Lodge doesn’t send members to sessions, the Lodge misses out on the opportunity to shape legislation and resolutions that govern all Lodges in the jurisdiction or that might affect Code changes both in the jurisdiction and at Sovereign Grand Lodge. Failing to send representatives to sessions means the Lodge can’t vote in jurisdictional elections. Additionally, leadership of the Lodge abdicates its responsibility to raise concerns and questions to the Grand Master, Grand Secretary and Grand Treasurer, and to participate in decision-making regarding the future of the Order and assets of the Grand Lodge. Further, Lodge leadership misses out on the opportunity to meet leaders from other Lodges and also defaults on the chance to advance in Grand Lodge office.

So, given the opportunity, why do so many Odd Fellow Lodges fail to make an appearance at Grand Lodge sessions? Why do so many Lodges fail to send even one representative to sessions?

I suggest that there are multiple reasons for this failure to participate.

Some Lodges may, literally, be too small, with too few members and too little money, to send representatives to sessions. Alternatively, there may be no member in these small Lodges who has the time or inclination to attend.

But, I have found that even medium-size or large Lodges have failed to send members to Grand Lodge Sessions. So, being too small or too poor can’t be the reason for those Lodges.

I have given the matter considerable thought, and I have spoken to Lodge members from Odd Fellow Lodges that don’t send representatives, and here is the reason that I have discerned. Many Lodges don’t send representatives to Grand Lodge Sessions, and frankly, don’t participate in activities outside their own Lodge (for example, membership seminars) for one simple reason: They want to be left alone. They are content to just do their thing in their own Lodge Hall, and would rather not see or hear anything or anybody from Grand Lodge. They tolerate the occasional official visit by a DDGM or a Grand Master. But beyond the minimal requirement of submitting an annual per capita report, Grand Lodge never hears from them. These Lodges have become islands.

How have we come to such a disconnect? And how can we encourage Lodges to participate in fraternal life beyond their Lodge Hall buildings?

These are two very challenging, but important questions, that will affect the future of our Order. I suggest that leadership at Grand Lodge has to take the first step to reach out to their absent Lodges, and prove to them that Grand Lodge does not exist to criticize, harass or nit-pick Lodges. Lodges should not fear Grand Lodge. Grand Lodge has to show absentee Lodges that Grand Lodge’s primary motivation is to assist and educate Lodges, to focus on helping with membership development, to educate on proper financial reporting, and to encourage Lodges to send representatives to sessions to engage in a democratic process of decision-making. DDGMs can play a key role in identifying Lodges that have failed to attend Grand Lodge Sessions, to meet with Lodge leadership to explain the value of attending sessions, and to encourage attendance in the future.

F – L – T

Dave Rosenberg
Past Grand Master
Jurisdiction of California

Three Important Words for the Odd Fellows

Three Important Words for the Odd Fellows

The Independent Order of Odd Fellows' primary words are Friendship, Love, and Truth. Add to those the goal of 'Elevating Human Character,' and you've got a recipe that no one will argue with. But how do we engage more people in our Order? I think three more words are...

Have We Forgot Who We Are?

Have We Forgot Who We Are?

Rick Boyles, a Past Grand Master of California, often contributes incisive articles to this DMC Newsletter. His musings and aspirations on the character of Odd Fellowship are relevant and inspiring. In this latest article from Brother Rick we are reminded that if we,...

Membership: It’s a Global Problem

Membership: It’s a Global Problem

Dear Dedicated Members for Change, Brothers and Sisters from around the world write to me about our DMC Newsletters and the issues raised in our discussions. These issues are real and do not go away by being ignored. They can only be solved if they are brought to the...

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